Hasan Piker’s ‘Debatelords’ Was So Hilarious, Here Are The 10 Funniest Topics Streamers Argued Over
Twitch streamer HasanAbi’s first-ever, in-person live event wrapped up at TwitchCon, and from The Best Cracker to The Greatest Game Console, these are some of the silliest issues livestreamers debated on stage.
Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of porn and suicide.
Well, that was just as unhinged as September 2024’s Harris versus Trump debate.
Hasan “HasanAbi” Piker’s first—and biggest—in-person IRL event, DebateLords, was everything he said it was going to be and more. It was hilarious. It was OD. It was clippable and quotable. The livestream was the preeminent “political” debate of the year—one that all other debates, real of fictional, should be modeled after.
Sarcasm aside, the livestream was an absolute riot in the best way possible. With debaters bbno$, Carolinekwan, Cyr, Jasontheween, and Nmplol—all of whom are creators or streamers—the show was full of filibustering, laugh-out-loud arguments, and pie. Because, of course, Piker got pied at the end—and a “tattoo.”
With the show running almost three hours long, a lot of topics were discussed and a lot of opinions were slung. But who won? What were the issues? And why did Jasontheween kinda snap when he sang about eating french fries with ketchup? To get you up to speed on what you might’ve missed from Piker’s event, which raised almost $50,000 for charity, here are the 10 funniest topics the five debaters argued over on DebateLords.
1.What Is The Better Cracker, And Why Is It Ritz Or Saltine?
Best Answer: Cyr, Saltine.
Argument: Honestly, Cyr didn’t say much here. He barely even answered the question. But what made his response—salt-tine, with a long “i” sound—so good was not necessarily the filibustering, but the repetition of the word “cracker.” This is one of those “if you know you know” sorts of things, but lemme briefly break it down. In December 2021, Piker was temporarily banned on Twitch for calling white people “cracker” because the Amazon-owned livestreaming platform considered the word hate speech, which is against the company’s Community Guidelines and Terms of Service. He was eventually unbanned, but Twitch never really let it go, awarding Piker a “Cracker Pass” in November 2022 that gave him free rein to use the word as he pleased. So, good job, Cyr, for the callback. The real answer to the question, though, is Ritz. That’s why Cyr got zero points.
2.Which Video Game Character Would You Choose As Your Running Mate, And Why?
Best Answer: bbno$, Kirby.
Argument: “Sometimes, you just wanna suck down your opponent.” That’s a crazy thing to say during a debate, but it’s incredibly poignant when you consider the rest of bbno$’s answer. “The only thing that matters is if you can change and shape shift to what matters politically at that moment. And if you wanna take and make the right decision, you gotta think and be the right person.” All gas, no brakes, and some points. Next.
3.Which Video Game Character Would You Choose As Your Running Mate, And Why?
(Second) Best Answer: Nmplol, Sonic the Hedgehog—Syke, Eren Yeager.
Argument: Yes, this was already covered, and while bbno$’s answer was clearly the best, you can’t deny Nmplol for trying. Piker’s question was about a “running mate.” Nmplol, clever as he is, said Sonic the Hedgehog because “he’s faster than everybody.” It’s a sound argument! Except we weren’t talking about running a mile; we were talking about running for president. Nmplol realized this, copied Jasontheween’s homework (he said Attack on Titan’s Eren Yeager first), and got no points. That’s what happens when you cheat.
4.What Would You Make The National Snack Of The United States, And Why?
Best Answer: Jasontheween, Fuh Dat Bih.
Argument: “When you slurp a noodle up, what do you think of?” Yes, this was a real sentence said during Piker’s DebateLords, and yes, Jasontheween really got points for this answer. I don’t know, either, y’all.
5.What Place Or Landmark (Real Or Fictional) Would You Make Protected Federal Land?
Best Answer: Jasontheween, Mount Rushmore.
Argument: Jasontheween initially said Seaside Bakery, which is a donuts and sweets spot in Newport Beach, California, but Piker didn’t catch that. So, Jasontheween answered again, this time saying the city of Arlington. Which, what? Third time’s the charm, though, and Jasontheween came back with Mount Rushmore, which while not technically protected federal land—though there was a 2023 bill introduced to designate it as such—it is a national landmark and an iconic American fixture. He was almost there, so Jasontheween got the points.
6.What Is The Greatest Game Console Of All Time?
Best Answer: Cyr, PS2.
Argument: Piker polled his Twitch chatters, which said the PS2. And so Cyr, who had the most points at the time, had to explain why the PS2 is the greatest console of all time. But once again, we’ve got Cyr barely answering the question. He started by sipping some water, then yapping some nonsense before asking, “Well, what’s better than one?” I mean, true, but the PS3, PS4, or PS5 isn’t better than the PS2, so that logically didn’t quite work out. Still, because he gave such a hilarious George W. Bush impersonation, Cyr got points anyway.
7.Who On Stage Would Make The Best President, And Why?
Best Answer: Carolinekwan, Mother Earth.
Argument: I mean, you can’t really argue with this. Mother Earth is everything and everywhere. It’s the ground we walk on, the air we breathe, the food we eat, the people we f—you get it. Caroline-queen got her points.
8.What Are You Doing To Increase Crime In Vice City?
Best Answer: Cyr, Cocaine.
Argument: I think Cyr was giving Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street with this answer, especially with that laugh. His delivery, when talking to a guy dressed like GTA: Vice City protagonist Tommy Vercetti, was utterly ridiculous. He was talking about getting in touch with the Central Intelligence Agency to funnel “some good sniffy angel dust down there.” He wanted to get “some fellas incarcerated and increase that crime rate.” It might not be the best look, shilling drugs to increase a city’s crime rate, but it earned Cyr points either way.
9.What Would Hasan Do If Twitch Banned Politics?
Best Answer: Jasontheween, Onlyfans—Syke, Flipping Burgers
Argument: “Muscular, handsome, nice beard.” Jasontheween described the 6-foot-3 streamer to an uproarious audience, but though his answer was good, it was taken by YouTuber Ludwig—who showed up late—and bbno$’s “porn” response. So, because Piker has nothing other than politics and looks, according to Jasontheween, Piker would be flipping burgers if Twitch banned politics. And that earned him some points.
10.What Would Hasan Do If Twitch Banned Politics?
(Second) Best Answer: Cyr, Suicide.
Argument: Now, this isn’t the best answer because of the subject matter. Suicide is no joke. According to The World Health Organization, some 726, 000 people take their life every year. (Small disclosure: I’ve attempted several times in the distant past.) Suicide is no laughing matter. However, Cyr’s storytelling around Piker's untimely demise was still pretty damn funny. Instead of me retelling it, though, I’ll just quote his entire soliloquy here:
“Oh, I know exactly what would happen. Yeah, politics gets banned from Twitch. You try and become an actor, but you fail. You run out of money eventually, and one day. you get in a car accident. You end up in a vegetative state, life support. Eventually, you watch all your loved ones give up on you. You eventually come out of it, resent society, resent yourself, resent the healthcare system, and you overdose on ketamine. And guess what? I’ll be at your funeral, drinking a martini. That’s what happens when you f**k with my points, Hasan!”
11.So, Who Really Won?
When it was all said and done, Nmplol somehow came out on top as the DebateGoat of DebateLords. I couldn’t exactly tell you how that happened, but I think it had something to do with “Polomism,” some sorta super-computer, idealogical philosophy that’s going to change the world. Or rig the system. One of the two. (It’s also Nmplol’s last name, so, yeah, definitely rigged.) The real winner, though, was the audience.
Who doesn’t want to see the 6-foot-3 streamer behemoth get several pies to the face?