13 Bizarre Celebrity Couples You Totally Forgot Dated
Even celebrities have weird dating histories! They're just like us!
Image via Complex Original
We’re here to say it, while it’s not original at all, we hate Valentine’s Day. [Insert quote about holiday made by candy companies here]. But if we’re going to be #real here, mostly, Valentine’s Day (depending on how emo we’re feeling), can stir up feelings about our romantic pasts—former flames and flings, unrequited loves and those out of reach crushes we’ve long lusted after.
Since we’re petty, it makes us feel a bit better knowing that sometimes celebrities really are just like us—not in that they have our meager pay grades or non Godiva chocolate boxes—but in that they have weird af romantic pasts too. So, let’s look back at some ghosts of celebrity past—retro long hair, baggy layers and weirdo star pairings that you thought you’d forgotten (or never even knew about!). Let’s distract ourselves from our own romantic miseries and look at the old (and quite strange) flames of some of our favorite celebs.
Brad Pitt and Thandie Newton
When Did They Date: 1994
2017 Couple Name: Brandie
Newton was a fang banger before she was an android on Westworld. The pair met while filming Interview with the Vampire, where Pitt starred as Louis, the titular "suffering" vamp. While they were an incredibly hot pairing, their relationship was slayed soon after.
Zoe Kravitz and Michael Fassbender
When Did They Date: 2010-2011
2017 Couple Name: Vitzbender
On the set of X-Men: First Class, the couple’s chemistry was magnetic because, well, look at them together. While Kravitz may no longer be Fassy’s angel (she’s now dating Karl Glusman, and he’s with Alicia Vikander), the two have been seen together for post-breakup friend brunches.
Jamie Dornan and Keira Knightley
When: 2003-2005
2017 Couple Name: Jameirakei! (Get it?)
Dornan was Knightley’s Will Turner for two years after they met shooting an ad campaign. While they were pretty lowkey, before either hit the A-List, it’s easy to see how their aughts fashion sense almost overshadowed their hot af pairing.
Ashton Kutcher and January Jones
When: 1998-2001
2017 Couple Name: Janston
It was alleged their love frosted over when Kutcher tried to dissuade Jones from acting. (Which, so rude because BETTY GD DRAPER!) Last year, however, Jones has clarified that Kutcher wasn’t the unsupportive ex she was talking about.
Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan
When: 2009-2010
2017 Couple Name: Beoufigan
The two fell for each other while Mulligan was a rising star and LaBeouf was still shedding his mouse ears when they met on Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. LaBeouf says the pair split because he wasn’t “ready to settle down.” But now they’re both married...so.
Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent
When: 2010
2017 Couple Name: 50 Handler
Handler has been known to go back and forth on the seriousness of her and 50’s relationship. “I’m not gonna date somebody whose name is a number,” Handler once said in an Oprah interview. However, Handler has admitted that she found herself “satiated” during whatever was happening between them.
John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston
When: 2008-2009
2017 Couple Name: Johnnifer
In interviews, Mayer has admitted a lasting love for Aniston, calling her “the sweetest, kindest person.” He struck rumors down when people suggested “Heartbreak Warfare” was inspired by their breakup. Ever the philanderer, Mayer’s time with Aniston is a small chapter in his relationship history. Taylor Swift? Katy Perry? Renee Zellweger? The list goes on and on and on.
Seth MacFarlane and Emilia Clarke
When: 2012
2017 Couple Name: MacClarke
To think that the mastermind behind Family Guy was able to bag THE Khaleesi, Dragon Mother, Breaker of Chains, for even a few months. Our minds are still blown.
Jared Leto and Scarlett Johansson
When: 2004-2005
2017 Couple Name: ScarJar (ew…)
ScarJo and the Joker. We’re glad this couple moved on and turned the last page of this comic book romance. (Also, never has a picture so screamed “I’m Just Not That Into You…”)
Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson
When: 2007-2010
2017 Couple Name: Manwood (we’re so sorry)
Wood starred in Manson’s music video “Heart-Shaped Glasses,” which has uncomfortable Lolita imagery, the couple sexing it up in blood and a car driving off a cliff. There’s been rumors spreading that the sex scenes were legit. Wood says they weren’t real, while Manson (of course *eye roll*) likes to keep people guessing.
Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morrisette
When: 2002-2007
2017 Couple Name: Rylanis
After Reynolds and Morissette broke off their engagement and went separate ways after being together for a very long time (by Hollywood standards), Morissette released all of her grief into her album Flavors of Entanglement. Reynolds dealt with the break up by just dating a bunch of Hollywood blonde bombshells.
Lenny Kravitz and Nicole Kidman
When: 2003-2004
2017 Couple Name: Kid-Krav
The couple denied engagement rumors during their tryst. (Which kudos on the post Tom Cruise rebound Nicole!) But Kidman certainly made an impression on Kravitz; his song “Lady” is about her.
Eric Andre and Rosario Dawson
When: 2016-present
2017 Couple Name: Andreson
When on BFF Hannibal Burress’ podcast in January, Burress asked Andre who his “famous girlfriend” was and while Andre said “Madea from the Tyler Perry movies,” look back at Andre’s IG as of late and there you go. Gotta lock THAT shit down.