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This Friday, April 5, Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park will return to theaters, now with 3D effects. Even 20 years after its release, the film still looks great—these 3D extras won't be necessary, but trends must be obeyed.
Do you remember the first time you saw the film? Was it in theaters, with your parents? This writer was, and the experience was unforgettable. Nothing had ever looked so real. I can recall too many of the scenes and snippets of dialogue. If I need to get the attention of a room, my first thought is to bellow, "Quiet, all of you! They're approaching the Tyrannosaur paddock." But I don't, because I'm not crazy.
The dino epic left an indelible mark on me, informed so many of the games I played with friends, the ways I tried to scare my little brother. Setting a younger sibling on edge by describing the raptors stalking through the kitchen late at night, when said sibling wants to go downstairs for a snack, is practically a duty for children of the JP generation. How do you remember the movie? What lessons did it impart?
Here are 25 Ways "Jurassic Park" Defined Your Childhood.
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You were given definitive proof that toilets weren't safe.
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Kitchens weren't safe, either.
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Words to live by: It can't see you if you don't move...
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...unless you've already been spotted.
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Because of Dennis Nedry, you "got" Seinfeld.
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"Ah ah ah, you didn't say the magic word" is the original Rickrolling.
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No subsequent science teacher could compare to Mr. DNA.
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Ian Malcolm: the only proof that math is cool.
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First realization that girls run the world, word to Beyoncé (who was 12 in 1993).
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You couldn't wait for toy companies to sell you non-functioning night-vision goggles as part of the JP merchandise push.
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You learned that shit happens, meaning you didn't need Forrest Gump.
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Extinction—not always a bad thing.
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Electrified fences keep T. Rexes in. Non-electrified ones, not so much.
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Being electrocuted looked scary, but also kind of awesome.
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Life just wasn't fair because your dad wasn't Dr. Alan Grant.
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Green Jell-O, which you'd previously ignored, all of a sudden became delicious.
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Chaos Theory? You got it.
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You started paying attention to side-view mirrors. A lot.
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There's some confusion about what it meant, but "Hold on to your butts" became the best way to tell someone to get ready.
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Up until you tried Indian food in college, goat wasn't appetizing.
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Simulating this with your dog wasn't nearly as satisfying. But you still tried.
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Lawyers = Blood-sucking child-abandoners.
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Best last words ever?
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And most importantly, if the power goes out, you get to eat all the desserts.
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