The 25 Most Ridiculous Hotels in the World
"Excellence, opulence, decadence."
Image via Complex Original
When the average Joe books a trip, he probably logs on to a travel website, books a closet sized room at the Mariott or, if he's feeling daring, a trendy W hotel, and leaves it at that. But these hotels and resorts are not for your average Joes...maybe try your average Bill. As in Gates.
These hotels are not just "luxurious," they're ostentatious displays of bottomless wealth, and those who stay there don't bat at eye at the marble-trimmed butler's headquarters or the Heli-pad outside.
We've put together a list of the 25 most ridiculous hotels in the world, because apparently, rolling around in fresh snow after a session in the Presidential Suite sauna is not uncommon; it's just another day away from home. Put that on the black card.
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25. Luxe Hotel Airplane Suite
Location: Teuge, The Netherlands
Price: $550
Website: hotelsuites.nl
If Curren$y hasn't stayed here yet, he needs to get on it. Making "Jet Life" a reality, the Luxe Hotel Airplaine Suite is a suite for two inside a converted jet, which used to serve as a government plane before carrying passengers from East Germany to countries like Cuba, Russia, and China. What once could accomodate 20 passengers is now a private, grounded suite all for yourself, with an intact cockpit, jacuzzi, infrared sauna, bottle of champagne, and three flat-screen TVs. Looks like you can join the Mile High Club without ever leaving the ground.
24. Town House Galleria
Location: Milan, Italy
Price: $3,150 (Vivaldi Suite - cheapest suite); $15,000 (Ambassador Wing)
Website: sevenstarsgalleria.com
All the luxury in the world couldn't necessarily get you on the waiting list of the most exclusive restaurants and clubs, but when you book your reservation at the 7-star Town House Galleria, you automatically sidestep waiting lists; your name doesn't necessarily matter, but the hotel's does. The suites and rooms are managed by the Italian Institute of the Arts, so each suite is unique in size and theme, and all have been individually arranged, personalized, and dedicated to a famous musician of La Scala Opera. Whether you stay in the "Vivaldi Junior Suite" with a therapeutic massage Jacuzzi, or the $15,000-a-night "Ambassador Wing" with a boardroom, private gym, and hand-painted frescoes, a butler is at your beck and call and your name is on the list wherever you want to go.
23. Atlantis Royal Towers
Location: Bahamas
Price: $875
Website: atlantis.com
When most people think of the word "vacation," a good percentage of them probably thinks Bahamas. While the islands have a reputation for being a hotbed for senior year spring breaks and honeymoons, the Atlantis Royal Towers will make you feel that literally you're above all of it. The Presidential Suites are located in the Imperial Club, which occupies the 17-24 floor of the Royal Towers. Service is taken up a notch, and suites have balconies facing the ocean for one of the bluest views you'll probably ever see. If you brought some spare dinero, head downstairs for at the Atlantis Casino. You'll see tourists trying their luck and sulking home, but you get to go upstairs when the night ends and fall asleep in your luxurious headquarters.
22. Four Seasons Hotel George V Paris
Location: Paris
Price: $16,000
Website: fourseasons.com
Ahh, another exuberant Four Seasons, but this time around, romance is in the air, thanks to its location at the center of the City of Light. The hotel wasn't shy when it came to naming the rooms, either; the standard room is called "Moderate" while the "Royal Suites" are less subtle, complete with antique-filled interiors, a marble entrance foyer, and enough sumptuous decor that will make you feel like a Parisian aristocrat. Does $16,000 per night sound too expensive? You peon.
21. Hotel Cala di Volpe
Location: Costa Smeralda, Itlaly
Price: $32,736 (Presidential Suite)
Website: starwoodhotels.com
The only two colors that should matter on a vacation: green (golf course) and white (sand beaches). Hotel Cala di Volpe has both, plus an Olympic-sized saltwater pool and Mediterranean spa. The Unique Presidential Suite is located inside the hotel's tower, with a view of nothing but blue ocean and blue skies. Oil paintings and tapestries line the walls, a wine cellar is yours by way of a secret door, and the three master bedrooms come with their own private balconies, where you can dine beneath the sunset with a menu prepared specifically for your tastes. All of this, of course, if you've got $33,000 to spare per perfect evening.
20. Marina Bay Sands Hotel
Location: Singapore
Price: $904 (Standard Room) ; $17,000 (Chairman Suite)
Website: marinabaysands.com
You know a hotel is headed to over-the-top territory when it partners with a Las Vegas hotel corporation for tips on luxury. The Marina Bay Sands Hotel's true testament to ridiculousness is its Sands SkyPark, a real rooftop parking occupying 133,472 sq ft of sky space and providing you with a breeze courtesy of 250 different species of trees. The "Chairman Suite" makes the ubiquitous Presidential suite look bad by taking up the 53 and 54 floor of the hotel. The price for this penthouse in the clouds? Only $17,000 per night.
19. The Wakaya Club and Spa
Location: Fiji Islands
Price: $1,900 (Standard Room); $7,900 (Vale O Villa)
Website: wakaya.com
Another private island resort, the Wakaya Club and Spa is comprised of ten free-standing waterfront Fijian cottage suites or bures (pronounced boo-rays), ranging only in privacy and abundance. With the Pacific Ocean just steps away and a hammock tied between two coconut trees waiting for you, you might not do much other than lay around, sipping coconut milk. And of course, the "Vale-O Villa," which literally means "house in the clouds," is the most expensive stay on the island. Sitting atop a 16-acre hilltop estate, it offers a rock-rimmed, waterfall-equipped pool, a private staff, night-lit tennis courts, and a guest pavillion.
18. Fairmont Hotel
Location: Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Price: $400 (Standard Room) ; $1,500 (Standard Suite)
Website: fairmont.com
Business men on important trips cannot be bothered by vacationers and tourists, so one part of the hotel is for regular people (ew), and the Fairmont Gold is like a hotel within a hotel, taking up the 33rd floor where "likeminded" (read: dripping rich) important corporate dudes can unwind with a stiff drink and private concierge service. The Presidential Suites, which occupy the 34th floor, have their own private rooftop pool and ridiculous views of the surrounding city.
17. Gamirasu Cave Hotel
Location: Cappadocia, Turkey
Price: $1,645 (Byzantine Suite)
Website: gamirasu.com
Being stranded in a dark, old cave is a nightmare for most people, but the suites located in the once monk-occupied, millenium-old Gamirasu Cave contains 30 rooms and luxurious suites with names like "Roman King," "Eagle Nest," and the most expansive and expensive, the "Byzantine King" suite. There may not be many windows letting natural light into your room, but the romantic mood lighting, grand arched ceilings, and personal balcony will almost make you forget you are completely underground.
16. Grand Hôtel
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Price: $2,000 (Standard Suite)
Website: grandhotel.se
When you think of old money, especially old European money, do you picture a bunch old important dudes sleeping in canopied beds and drinking tea? Well, that's pretty much exactly how the past looks for the historic Grand Hôtel, which has counted Nobel Prize laureates as guests since 1901. Founded in 1872, the hotel boasts an original opulent charm only a century and a half of luxury can provide. We suggest checking out Matsalen, the on-site restaurant headed by 5-star Michelin chef Mathais Dalgren. And if you've got the dough (an unnamed amount, by the way), book the Princess Lillian, a sprawling 13,552 sq ft suite with two bedrooms, private cinema, two balconies, limo service, and massage showers with waterfalls.
15. Martinez Hotel
Location: Cannes, France
Price: $530 (Standard Room); $18,000 (Suite des Oliviers Seaview)
Website: hotel-martinez.com
This is exactly the kind of establishment where Tony Montana would vacation; it's undeniably an classy hotel overlooking La Croisette in Cannes, and the crystal chandeliers, art deco interior, and white leather furniture would please him. The 2,700 sq ft terrace, with its ocean view and jumbo jacuzzi, is perfect for partying with a bunch of people you don't know during an event like the Cannes Film Festival. But if you can't shell out the 18 grand per night for the best suite in the house, the other 409 rooms and suites are still classy enough for second best.
14. Four Seasons NY
Location: NYC
Price: $895 (Standard Studio Room); $35,000 (Ty Warner Penthouse Suite)
Website: fourseasons.com
Four Seasons hotels everywhere are nice, but the 52-story New York gem perched on 57th Street between Madison and Park has a penthouse worth more in one night than your entire college education. The Ty Warner Penthouse lets you borrow a butler AND a personal trainer, because no one likes a fat rich person, right? It's unbecoming. The gold carved coffee table, fabrics woven with platinum and gold threads, and 25 ft Cathedral ceilings will impress even a jaded New Yorker, but its the glass balcony offering a 360˚ view of the best city in the world that makes this a penthouse to beat.
13. Maison Moschino
Location: Milan, Italy
Price: $250-$400 for regular rooms; $520+ for suites
Website: maisonmoschino.com
Stationed inside a neo-classical railway station from 1840, Maison Moschino left the exterior in tact but completely flipped the inside, turning a once-practical building into a trippy hotel that will have you feeling like you stepped into a scene from Alice in Wonderland. The Italian fashion house gave each of its suites a theme, with names like "Little Red Riding Hood," "Life is a Bed of Roses," "Shadows," and even "Alice's Room," to prove a point. Surprisingly, the cost of escaped reality is inexpensive, relatively speaking, but we recommend you NOT do drugs in or around here. It could get messy.
12. Grand Resort Lagonissi
Location: Athens, Greece
Price: $1,270 (standard rate); $50,000 (Royal Villa)
Website: lagonissiresort.gr
The ancient Greeks were never known for their subtlety, and if you're staying here for a night (or five), you're probably not known for yours either. You know you're in the upper echelon when even your butler gets to crash in style, with a private entrance and marble-lined bathroom. The top-notch Royal Villa asks for a meager $50,000 per night, and comes equipped with a personal gym, private terrace, heated outdoor pool, and private massage tables underneath the Mediterranean sky. Whether you choose the Platinum Club or scrimp and opt for the Comfort club, you're not staying here for less than a stack. No Groupons accepted.
11. Crazybear Beaconsfield
Location: Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom
Price: $550
Website: crazybeargroup.co.uk
If this hotel had a soundtrack, it would be Watch the Throne, with opulence and excellence and lots of other expensive adjectives oozing from every wall and, as it turns out, the ceilings as well. This old-school-charm-meets-new-money-luxury hotel boasts a copper tub at at the foot of every bed, with a fountain of water filling it from the ceiling. Rooms range in interiors from polished black floors and ornate, gold trimmed beds to red velvet walls and skylights and chrystal chandeliers. And if you need to take a break from your lap of luxury, head to the terrace for afternoon tea...in you're PJs and Louis Vuitton loafers. That's how you do that whole "pajama rich" thing.
10. Pangu
Location: Beijing, China
Price: $30,000 (Pangu Presidential Suite)
Website: panguhotel.com
Traditional Asian design meets European glamor at this 7-star Beijing hotel, masterminded by architect C.Y. Lee, the man behind the world's second tallest building. Speaking of tall, your first stop should be the Sky Courtyards, located on the 23rd floor, where the Chinese orchestra plays under a retractable BMW-powered roof. Solid granite dragon thrones and a rosewood ceiling mural adorn the interior. If you've got the dough to rest up at the Pangu Presidential Suite, then the hand-embroidered ceilings and monsoon rain showers should keep you entertained for $30,000 per night.
9. Poseidon Undersea Resort (Poseidon Mystery Island)
Location: Fiji Islands
Price: $1,500 (per person, per night standard rate); $30,000 (per couple, per week); $3 million (reserve island)
Website: poseidonresorts.com
There might be a Disney song or two about this type of thing, but you won't find the Little Mermaid lurking outside your window at this 5,000 acre hotel, located 40 feet underwater. Don't know how to drive a submarine? No problem; take some lessons. The 24 underwater suites invite you in with marble and leather floors enveloped inside a bubble of 4-inch, clear acrylic, so you can see the fish and possibly sharks swimming outside/suite. While you dine on delicious seafood, you can also feed your fishy friends outside with the press of a button from your console. Nemo, is that you?
8. InterContinental Hotel
Location: Hong Kong
Price: $960 (Junior Suites); $13,715 (Presidential Suite)
Website: hongkong-ic.intercontinental.com
The filthy rich dude with his New York penthouse in the sky could probably fit his apartment into this luxury hotel's Presidential Suite a couple times. But whether you can afford the $13,715 price tag for the Presidential Suite or not, every room at InterContinental comes with your own on-call butler, in-room dining, access to seven restaurants, a spa, and tai-chi classes, if your zen is feeling a bit off. Plus, hit the bathroom lights? Marble floors everywhere. Jeezy would like it.
7. Frégate Island Private
Location: Seychelle Islands
Price: $5,410 (2 bedroom villa, minimum 3 nights stay); $14,000 (Presidential Villa, 5-day stay minimum)
Website: fregate.com
You're not really top tier ballin' until you rent out a Presidential Villa that Bill Gates has frequented, located on its own private island in the Seychelles. Luxury hotels pale in comparison to the Frégate Islands Private villas, which require a minimum 3-night stay and only deal in numbers with at least four digits. The Presiential Villa, which goes for $14,000 for a 5-day minimum stay, provides you with exclusivity within exclusivity; you're already on a private island, but you can also lay out on your own private beach. And you think butler service is cool? Your butler and chef have their own (smaller) villas next to yours. It's like a small village....but your own small village.
6. ICEHOTEL
Location: Jukkasjärvi, Sweden
Price: $675 (Art Suite); $1,050 (Deluxe Suite)
Website: icehotel.com
If hell is a fire pit, does that make heaven a land of ice and igloos? Sweden's ICEHOTEL likes to think so. Pack a parka and packets of hot chocolate for your stay here, because everything is "so icy" in the most literal sense of the word. What started as a 645 sq ft igloo has since grown into one of the most popular ice hotels, measuring at around 59,201 sq ft. The suites boast all-ice-everything beds and furniture with reindeer skins to keep you cozy. In your free time, check out the ice farm next door, where a guy named Hans begins cultivating the ice for the busy winter season, or you could go on the Arctic Wildlife Safari. Just make sure to protect ya neck with a heavy duty scarf. Hypothermia is never a good look.
5. Emirates Palace Hotel
Location: Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
Price: $1,770 (Starting Suite Package); 7-day all-inclusive package for two: $1 million
Website: emiratespalace.com
Upon landing in Abu Dhabi, you will be transported from airport to hotel in a limo, or, if you're feeling spendy, a chauffeur with a BMW who'll escort you on a shopping trip along the way. Once at the hotel, you can toast to the good life with a $15,000 bottle of cognac before heading up to your room (or suite) with a private balcony or terrace, on-call butler, and decor crafted from marble imported from 13 different countries. The romantics will especially appreciate the twinkly 1,002 chandeliers and 20,000 fresh roses per day. If you feel like your date (she better be your wife) deserves it, ask about the million dollar, one-week, all-inclusive package that includes diving for pearls and then watching your chick wear them to dinner.
4. Hotel President Wilson
Location: Geneva, Switzerland
Price: $675 (Superior Room); $65,000 (Royal Penthouse Suite)
Website: hotelpwilson.com
You know you're in for a luxurious stay when the number of suite options outnumbers the amount of regular choices. Whether you can drop $65,000 per night for the Royal Penthouse Suite, or settle on a starting rate of $675 for the Superior Rooms, you can still enjoy the hotel's club-meets-wine cellar, spa, three restaurants and salt water pool. But then again, the Royal Penthouse Suite has 12 rooms, 12 bathrooms with Jacuzzis, a private terrace, elevator, and grand piano. Go hard or go home, right?
3. Raj Palace
Location: Jaipur, India
Price: $899 (Prestige Suite); $15,000 (Maharajah's Pavilion); $40,000 (Shahi Mahal Presidential Suite)
Website: rajpalace.com
The only thing this real-palace-turned-hotel doesn't offer is magic carpet rides...everything else is fair game. For $40,000, you can spend ONE night in the Shahi Mahal Presidential Suite, where you can sit back and enjoy 6 bedrooms, a dining room, private theater, your own kitchen staff, and a sprawling library. For everyone else, rooms are still pricey, with the standard rate starting out at around $900. The hotel staff likes to remind their guests of the company they keep, so don't be surprised to find framed pictures of the kings, queens, and oil tycoons who've rested their rich little heads there. Before you check out, make sure to embark on either the Elephant or Camel Safari. Your wildlife will be parked out front, waiting.
2. Mardan Palace Hotel
Location: Antalya, Turkey
Price: $18,000
Website: mardanpalace.com
This Turkish hotel, backed by Russian billionaire Telman Ismailov, cost $1.4 billion to build, and the opening reception included outwardly spend-happy guests like Paris Hilton and Mariah Carey to prove the point that not everyone was hit by the recession. Sure, other hotels have pools, but this pool is five acres long, with the option of a gondola ride taking you from one end to the other. Pampering is given new meaning when, post-spa treatment and sauna, you can roll around in fresh snow to cool off. You choose your pillow-firmness from a menu, and the neighboring beach is filled with sand imported from Egypt. Even your most private moments are lavish: the remote-control toilets are there as if to encourage you, saying "go ahead, wipe with that one-hundred dollar bill."
1. Burj Al Arab
Location: Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Price: $18,716 (Royal Suite)
Website: jumeirah.com
This sky high, sailboat-shaped hotel is like a Middle Eastern palace for the public, or at least for those who can afford the sinful opulence the resort provides. With 18 elevators, a reception desk on every floor, a butler on call, and a fleet of Rolls Royces at your disposal, the whole "less is more" mantra is clearly for those who prefer a stay at their local Super 8. When you're not relaxing in your fluffy robe in one of the 202 two-storey suites (there are no meager "rooms"), dousing yourself with Hermés bath products, you can call the helicopter to take you wherever you need to go, which presumably means you're on your way to spending more money. The only accommodation not available at this point is a personal genie...and we heard they're working on that.