The 25 Biggest Hip-Hop Fails of 2012
Rappers made a lot of mistakes this year. These were the worst.
Image via Complex Original
Listen, nobody’s perfect. The road to success is never a straight line, and sometimes one gets lost. Sometimes one misses their own concert thanks to failing to pay a $75 parking ticket. Sometimes one gets sent to perform in Alaska by 4Chan. Sometimes one cries on stage after losing a court case.
Hip-hop artists and their associates are pros at embarrassing themselves, and it's made for a very entertaining 12 months. Here is this year's rap version of America’s Funniest Home Videos (although some are more sad than funny), as Complex presents the 25 Biggest Hip-Hop Fails of 2012.
Written by Eric and Jeff Rosenthal (@itsthereal)
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25. Lil Wayne Releases Diss Record Aimed at Pusha T
Date: May 25
After at least six years of Pusha T and his brother Malice sending shots towards Lil Wayne, one would assume that if Weezy was finally going to respond, he'd have something—something!—to say. Instead, there's no depth to his rhymes past the opener, "Fuck Pusha T and anybody that love him."
Lines about Bootsy Collins, Chase Bank, and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air may be clever, but they're also super-generic. There's zero reason for Pusha to be afraid; there's nothing ghoulish about this "diss" song, other than the possibility of it haunting his computer recycling bin.
24. Soulja Boy Cries During Whitney Houston Tribute at BET Awards
Date: July 1
When Whitney Houston passed away semi-unexpectedly, we cried. We cried because of who she was and the moments her songs took us back to; because it showed how precious (and precarious) life is, and how easily it could all slip away. We cried because being at the top apparently didn't mean as much as we thought it did, because it made us question the definition of success. We cried because she was a mother and a daughter.
The fact is, it's not embarrassing to have emotions nor to show them. What is embarrassing is to have dirty overgrown nails at a major television event. I mean, in 2012, Soulja Boy can't be blamed for not thinking that anyone would be paying attention to him, but really: he should've worn mittens or something.
23. Woman Gets "Kanye" Tattooed on Butt, Changes Name to Kanyeresa West
Date: January 11
When you go to get a tattoo, you're supposed to be asked a number of questions. Like, "Are you under the influence of alcohol or drugs?" Or, "Why in the world would you get KANYE tattoo'd across both butt cheeks?" Or, "Will this be meaningful in 10 years, or 5 years, or hell, tomorrow?" Or, "I know Kanye will love it, but hey, what if by some crazy chance, he changes his mind?" Or, "Wait, you changed your name to Kanyeresa West and this can be construed as tattooing your own name across your butt cheeks?" Or, "Who tattoos their own name across their butt cheeks?" Or, "You're not gonna tell anyone about this, right?"
22. Joe Budden Misses Concert Because of $75 Parking Ticket
Date: March 30
Supergroup Slaughterhouse is comprised of four of the most lyrically gifted rappers in the game: Detroit's Royce da 5'9, Long Beach, California's Crooked I, Brooklyn's Joell Ortiz, and New Jersey's Joe Budden. Whenever the quartet makes an appearance in one of their hometowns, you know it's going to be a good show, and for Joe Budden, NYC's Best Buy Theatre was basically in his own backyard.
Slaughterhouse sold the place out, and the last thing that anyone would ever imagine would be Jumpoff Joe missing this event. But it was out of his control...sort of. A man who can remember thousands of rap lines from hundreds of songs, forgot to pay a parking ticket, and the cops made him pay for it. Not only did Joe Budden get the boot, but also a night of jail time.
21. Rick Ross Holds MMG "Press Conference"
Date: May 2
Recipients of a mysterious email from both Def Jam Recordings and Warner Bros. Records were intrigued, to say the least, when the rival labels teamed up to invite them to a sole location for a "special press conference." Rumors were everywhere: Rick Ross was going to sign Ma$e; Ross was going bring both labels together to do a special distribution deal; Ross was going to give everyone in attendance their own Wing Stop franchise. And on the day of, the buzz only got greater, with Lyor Cohen, Todd Moscowitz, Joie Manda, Swizz Beatz, Diddy and more in the building...only to be let down completely when the event turned out to be a pep rally for Maybach Music Group.
Each artist was given a stage to proclaim how proud they were of the label, the music, and SpiffTV's videos, yet there were no questions allowed from the assembled press corps. The Biggest Boss was given the biggest ovation (as instructed to do, by Lyor Cohen) as he walked down the aisle, like it was a high school homecoming. The biggest announcement? Ross was signing Omarion. The biggest surprise? The Nike swoosh painted onto Omarion's hair. MMG affiliate French Montana summed up the afternoon best, when he walked to the podium and asked in all seriousness, "What's goin' on?"
20. Shyne Hates on Kendrick Lamar's Album
Date: October 25
Shyne, who's been through three failed record deals (the first after taking the rap for his boss, and two more after convincing his bosses he could still rap), has done one thing well since being released from jail: annoy people. From Diddy to 50 Cent to Game to Rick Ross, Shyne hasn't been shy about making his opinions known.
What is strange though, is why he decided to criticize Kendrick Lamar after the release of K-Dot's debut album, good kid, m.A.A.d city. Having never met or dealt with Kendrick, Shyne still tweeted, "Yoooo! Kendrick Lamar is talented with a lot of potential but his album is traaaaash." With no other offers coming in from record labels, perhaps this is the only way for Shyne's voice to be heard.
19. French Montana and Soulja Boy Instagram the Same Jewelry Picture
Date: November 21
A few years ago, stories would pop up often in which rappers would have their chains taken. 50 Cent in Angola; Tyga at the hands of 40 Glocc; Yung Berg in New York, Detroit, Chicago, London. For whatever reason, they don't happen anymore, perhaps because they're no longer as ridiculous and specific as they once were. (Yung Berg's resembled a Transformers character. Honestly.) In November, French Montana posted an interesting item to his Instagram account—how often do you say that?—of a Jesus piece, a braid, and a couple of watches. Like!
But wait, Soulja Boy posted the same photo 18 hours earlier! (Well, not exactly the same: naturally, it had a different filter. French used the XPro II, because he's no amateur at stealing photos.) BUT WAIT AGAIN! French Montana had initially posted that same photo an entire day earlier than that, so where did that photo—oh my God who even cares.
They should upload this portrait of themselves to Instagram —> :( :(
18. Tyga Admits He Had a Cushy Upbringing
Date: December 3
If you relied on Tyga—Travie McCoy's cousin, who signed to YMCMB after sitting on Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz' shelf, and who was once most famous for eating a couple of hundred dollar bills on camera—to be your source of true rough and tumble music, then the release of this 2008 video may break your heart.
TMZ got their hands on clips from an MTV game show pilot in which Tyga admits to an easy upbringing in the L.A. Valley, his parents driving a Range Rover, and getting his rap name from his mom, who said he looked like Tiger Woods. In the end, Tyga may not have been raised in the struggle, but his rhymes from five years ago are the epitome of it.
17. LL Cool J Releases "Ratchet"
Date: October 6
Growing old sucks. It's never quick but rather over years and years until at some point you look in the mirror and you trace the lines near your mouth with a shaking finger, you try to smooth your forehead; everything sags and instead of life coming from behind your eyes there's gray circles underneath. Ugh.
LL Cool J is 44 years old. He wants to be young so badly, but he is so middle-aged and so inoffensive. We all knew that years ago when he started taking jobs on CBS shows and doing that laugh ("A HUH HUH HUH") that seems as if designed to respond to Jay Leno jokes.
But then this song comes out, and it's LL Cool J rapping over a jerkin' beat and saying things like, "It's time I get rid of your ratchet ass." Right. LL, you're married and have been for 17 years. Why can't our idols age gracefully and/or normally? Why are we so beholden to youth? Growing old is not a fail; failing to grow old is.
(This also goes for Fat Joe, too, who released his "Instagram That Hoe" around the same time as "Ratchet.")
16. Bangladesh Insults Swizz Beatz, Then Takes it Back
Date: September 11
Give the producer Bangladesh an opportunity to ruin his career and he'll eat for a day. (Interestingly enough, if you teach Bangladesh how to fish, he'll eat for life.) In case you were unfamiliar, Bangladesh is best known for creating the beats for "A Milli" and that other Lil Wayne song that sounds exactly like it. Last year, he told a magazine writer that Swizz Beatz was "irrelevant." That's a weird thing to say, considering that Swizz is, well, everywhere, and that word is usually reserved for people who you are rarely heard from. (Bangladesh, for example!)
Well, Swizz didn't like the sound of that, so he called Bangladesh "a clown." Feeling the walls closing in around him, Bangladesh then said that he'd been taken out of context, that he'd never said that at all. It's a funny thing about recorded interviews: they're recorded. So, the tape came out, and—wouldn't you know it—tape don't lie. Bangladesh do, though.
15. Karmin Wins "Women Who Rock" Contest in Rolling Stone
Date: September 27
A little background on Karmin: They are a duo that got very popular on YouTube for their cutesy covers of rap songs. (Think Zooey Deschanel with a microphone in hand: a ton of eye-rolling, some noodling on instruments, no cursing.) Their renditions of "Look At Me Now" and "Super Bass" had Amy do a spoof-y karaoke version of all of the players involved, and it earned them a pretty splashy record deal with Sony.
Unfortunately, while it's an interesting gimmick to some, rapping other people's hits in the neutered fashion of Kidz Bop doesn't sell singles. (That's what they're working with Dr. Luke for!) So, Karmin made "Brokenhearted," a dance-y number where they shoehorned some rap in at the end, no big whoop.
Anyway, in 2012, they were awarded Rolling Stone's coveted honor of "Women Who Rock." There's a number of problems with this: 1.) Half of the duo (Nick) is not female; 2.) They don't rock, nor do they play rock music; 3.) There are many more deserving female or partial-female acts. But, congratulations, Nick and Amy. Once again, you took something that wasn't yours and made it your own.
14. Pitbull Gets Sent to Alaska by 4Chan
Date: July 30
Miami's Pitbull, known as Mr. 305 for being born and raised in the county of Dade, has in recent years evolved into Mr. Worldwide, a moniker that derives from his crossover rap-dance music and popularity. But neither of those nicknames would lead anyone to believe that Pitbull's most fascinating business trip this year would be to the farthest, coldest reaches of the United States: Kodiak, Alaska.
Walmart's social media scheme to get Pit to perform at the store with the most Facebook "likes," worked in a way that Pitbull nor Walmart anticipated, thanks to the intrepid trolling of David "Arr" Thorpe. 70,000 likes for the Kodiak branch later, and Pitbull was on stage, receiving a gift of bear repellent from the city's mayor, who one would assume, goes by Mr. 907.
13. Fred Durst Signs to YMCMB
Date: February 24
There are many reasons for Rome's fall, though none more important than the empire becoming far too big for its own good. That moment, for YMCMB, came with the arrival of Fred Durst, the red-hatted front singer of Limp Bizkit.
After Lil' Wayne announced the pick-up on radio, Durst took to Twitter: "The game is missing danger, electricity, and rock n roll! Cash Money Limp Bizkit...rock shit doesn't rock anymore! They say the whole game done went pop so I'm back in this ho!" (In the same interview, Wayne said that they were close to signing Ashanti, which shows how screwed up everything is.)
There are many reactions one could have to this, probably none of them positive, unless you think of Fred Durst being forced to sit next to Gudda Gudda on the bus to YMCMB HQ every morning.
12. Too $hort Elicits Sex Education for Teens
Date: February 10
Too $hort, known for his sexually explicit rhymes in songs, was hired by XXL to share his thoughts on relationships via their website in a regular segment called, "Fatherly Advice."
$hort's first and only video was directed toward boys in their teens, saying, "When you get to late middle school, early high school and you start feeling a certain way about the girls...I'm gonna tell you a couple tricks. A lot of the boys are going to be running around trying to get kisses from the girls...we're going way past that. I'm taking you to the hole."
After shock and outrage, the Internet's reaction was: Finish quickly.
11. Pill Claims He Was Never Signed to MMG
Date: January 3
In 2009, Pill was one of the most-buzzed about rappers, thanks to his mixtape song "Trap Goin' Ham," which earned praise from none other than fellow Atlanta lyricist Andre 3000. Magazine columns and covers, feature placements, and a record deal with Warner Bros. Records soon followed. But people really started talking once Rick Ross' Maybach Music imprint teamed up with Warner, and Pill linked with Ross in February 2011.
Pill, Meek Mill, Wale, and Ross, as Maybach Music Group, recorded music together, toured together, shot music videos and album artwork together, and went on a press run for their album, Self Made, Vol. 1 together. "Pacman," which featured Pill and Ross, was the second single off the album. And all seemed right in the world, until Pill was noticeably missing from the MMG performance at the BET Hip-Hop Awards in October 2011. Pill's response on Twitter: "Don't ask me, ask them. Str8 up."
Rumors were that while upstarts like Meek Mill and Wale were putting in their own work and paying their own way to events, Pill sought a different path. By the end of 2011, it was very obvious that Pill had written his own exit from the group and label...until mere days into the new year, Pill denied that he was ever a part of the group or label! Perhaps Pill was just taking a page from the Rick Ross playbook and denying that the past ever happened.
10. Ryan Leslie Loses His Court Case, Cries On Stage
Date: December 1
Ryan Leslie is a true talent. He has a great ear: he can play piano, bass, guitar, drums, and write hooks with the best of them. He has a keen intellect, as a Harvard graduate. He has a terrific sense of community, having figured out very early that if he videoed his entire professional life (from recording songs, to performing on tour, to business meetings), his talents could live on forever.
The other side of that coin is that even the bad videos live on forever. One such video is Leslie's 2010 plea to get his stolen laptop back, with the promise of $1 million to the person who returned it. The laptop was returned by German auto-repair-shop owner Armin Augstein, but the money was not handed over, and soon Ryan Leslie found himself in court.
On November 28, 2012, a jury of Leslie's peers ruled that he must pay Mr. Augstein the reward, just as tough, the NY Post published Ryan and his verdict on the next morning's cover. Worse still, Ryan Leslie broke down in tears days later on stage before burning the Post cover. Everything was, of course, caught on video, and will, for better or for worse, live on forever.
9. Gunplay Pleads Guilty to Gun Charge, Put on House Arrest
Date: October 12
Gunplay lives the life depicted in his music. His songs are aggressive rollercoaster rides with beats pockmarked by bullet sprays and bomb blasts. (Check "Jump Out.") His neck has a swastika seared into it; his Wiki page doesn't mention charm school. And so maybe it wasn't surprising to see footage leak of him pistol-whipping his taxman before stealing money and jewelry, but...now? Right as his career was taking off, after scene-stealing verses alongside Rick Ross and Kendrick Lamar?
The clip puts everything in jeopardy, saddening and maddening. Based off of his current charges, Gunplay could go behind bars for the rest of his days; right now, he's stuck in his living room. It's too bad.
8. Bow Wow Reveals He's Broke
Date: October 2
Bow Wow, who's been rapping for over half his 26 years, who's toured the world, who balled out on camera for MTV numerous times, who stunted on Soulja Boy when it came to who had the better Ferrari, who's written songs named, "Mo Money," "Get Money," "She's in Love with My Money," and "Money in the Way," claimed in court that he was making just $4,000 a month.
The CASH MONEY signee went on to claim he only had $1,500 in his checking account, and pleaded against paying his baby's mother any more than $3,000 a month in child support. The next day, Bow announced he'd inked a deal to become one of four new co-hosts of BET's 106 & Park.
7. Pitchfork Takes Chief Keef to a Gun Range
Date: July 2
It always feels necessary to remind people that Chief Keef is 17 years old. Fresh off of a house arrest this June, Chief Keef came to New York and watched as the labels and then the media went bonkers over him: look here, look here, give us a face, give us a quote, tell us what we want to hear! In the middle of the frenzy was Pitchfork, who view hip-hop through an indie rock lens (which is to say that it has a largely white audience).
They decided to interview Chief Keef at—where else—a gun range. Sure, it's a lazy and hacky idea, and yes, there are moral implications to sticking a gun in the hands of a kid who should be in high school, but it also seemed to be against the wishes of his parole board. (Remember: he was UNDER HOUSE ARREST FOR SHOOTING IN THE DIRECTION OF POLICE OFFICERS just a couple of weeks earlier.)
So, fast-forward to when the cops find out: Chief Keef might be going to jail over the incident. We shall see.
6. Lord Finesse Sues Mac Miller for Using His Beat on a Mixtape
Date: June 11
For as long as its been in existence, mixtape culture has allowed rappers to hop on one another's beats, much in the way that a hummingbird flitters amongst the flowers. As long as these songs aren't for commercial release, lawyers can't get involved, right? Wrong, said Lord Finesse (and his attorneys), who filed an exorbitant $10 million lawsuit against Mac Miller, his label (Rostrum) and those who love him (DatPiff) in the hopes of getting some heat and/or money in an era in which he lacks both. (Finesse, celebrated and popular during the 1990s, hasn't made much noise since.)
There's a case to be made that Mac's song in question, "Kool-Aid & Frozen Pizza," made money through YouTube ads and Lord Finesse could be entitled to some of those, but instead Finesse believes that his beat has been instrumental to all of Mac's success, so he's going for the whole pie. And what do you call pie that isn't yours? Nacho pie. What's crazy is that the work sampled by Finesse isn't even his own creation! It's based around an Oscar Peterson sample, which he himself never paid for. Nacho pie, indeed.
5. Chief Keef Laughs at Lil Jojo's Death
Date: September 5
17-year-old Chief Keef has been the talk of 2012, not just for his catchy mumblings that pass as songs, but because he's shrouded himself in this cloak of invincibility, so scary because it's so true. Aside from the usual gang signs and gun-flashing, he Instagram'd a photo of himself getting head; he shirked the rules of his probation, firing off guns with the guys from Pitchfork; he made 50 Cent and Wiz Khalifa wait for him at his video shoot, only to miss it altogether.
His current hit is called "Hate Being Sober," a shocking statement for someone so young and so over life. But it's not all heroics: in September of this year, 16-year-old Lil Jojo was gunned down, having traded words with Keef's friend and recording partner Lil Reese. Keef's response? "hahahahahhahahahahahahahaahhAAHAHAHAHA. #RichNiggaShit," then "Its Sad Cuz Dat Nigga Jojo Wanted To Be Jus Like Us #LMAO."
The dead boy's mother has openly claimed that Chief Keef paid to have her son killed; Keef signed a hefty contract to Interscope Records earlier this year. (After his words prompted a massive backlash, Keef would later act as if his Twitter account was hacked, apologizing before sending out a flurry of positive-though-empty aphorisms.)
It's tough to moralize over a young kid who couldn't give less of a fuck about morals, but it makes one wonder about the future, his and ours. Lil Jojo's future, unfortunately, has already been decided.
4. Nicki Minaj Cancels Summer Jam Performance
Date: June 3
Rappers like to portray themselves as larger-than-life, and on stage, even a Jermaine Dupri or Omarion or Lil Kim can seem 30-feet tall. But it's on hip-hop culture's biggest stage that we find out whose chest is really puffed up, and who can be popped by calling them "pop." Regardless of what Jay-Z or Kanye or Drake have done over the previous 12 months, if they perform at Hot 97's Summer Jam in front of a sold-out stadium, their year is made.
Nicki Minaj, 2012's announced headliner, was about to take her seat at Summer Jam's grown-up table, when word got around that Hot 97 personality Peter Rosenberg had referenced Nicki's music while introducing a rappity-rap act earlier in the day. He said to a parking lot side stage crowd, "I know there are some chicks in here waiting to sing along with 'Starships' later. I'm not talking to y'all now. Fuck that bullshit. I'm here to talk about real hip-hop shit."
So what did the entire YMCMB team do? Grab some mics and prove Rosenberg wrong? Tear the main stage down to show New Yorkers what real hip-hop looks like? Nope. In a show of defiance, they took their toys and left the sandbox, hurting not Rosenberg, whose Hot 97 family fully backed him up, but rather Nicki's Barbs, who'd paid good money to see her live.
3. Kreayshawn Musters Terrible First-Week Sales
Date: September 14
Was it really just last year that Kreayshawn dropped "Gucci Gucci" and earned her seven-figure deal over at Sony? Ugh, memories.
Let's recount what happened afterwards: Her "sister" V-Nasty got her in trouble for repeatedly saying the N-word, she toured without learning how to hold a microphone, she made fun of Rick Ross until he tried to confront her, V-Nasty kept saying the N-word and put out a project with Gucci Mane, and somehow Kreayshawn didn't put out a second single for 11 months.
675,360, no, wait, 675,345 minutes later, her album dropped with a deafening thud, scanning a little over 3,000 units in sales. Pretty bad for a girl who got 40 million YouTube views on a whim.
2. Chris Brown and Drake Instigate Nightclub Bottle Brawl
Date: June 13
Women, amirite? Can't live with 'em, can't whip bottles without 'em. (Is that how the saying goes?) Anyway, this summer, at Manhattan's appropriately-named nightclub W.i.P., the venue somehow seated Drake and Chris Brown (and their respective teams) directly opposite one another. Don't they keep up with the blogs?
It started off rather okay: Chris Brown supposedly sent a drink over to Drake's table. How nice! Until Drake allegedly sent it back with a note: "I am fucking the love of your life." ("Unfortunately, Drake did not mean Karrueche," said Karrueche to no one in her empty hotel room on any given day or night.) And it's like, who even knows if THAT was true, because Meek Mill was there and rumors were swirling that he'd been most recently in Rihanna's embraces.
Instead of sharing their iCal schedules, they calmly started throwing bottles at one another, leaving a dangerous walking area. Drake ran to the bathroom, Chris Brown emerged with a cut on his chin, Meek Mill said nothing happened, Tony Parker got some glass in his eye, some Australian tourist got cut the fuck up, and W.i.P. got shut down. That's the way love goes.
1. Video of Lil Reese Beating a Woman Surfaces
Date: October 25
Chief Keef's GBE associate and Def Jam artist Lil Reese tweeted in regards to a video of him disgustingly punching and kicking a young woman: "The haters tryna see a mf Dwn lol Dey gotta b broke and bored wanna upload sum shit from years ago damnn we winnin it's 2 late...Dis wat doin betta den da next mf bring small shit it's nothin time 2 turn Uppp fuck it..."
Reese's horrible and shocking physical acts, as well as the twisted logic in his tweets, are an absolute disgrace. When someone with more sense got to him, Reese later apologized: "Everybdy makes mistakes I was out of charcter & ive grown sense then Dont judge me for my past i can admit my wrongs and I apologize."
The damage, in more ways than one, was already done.